Downfall of Being Single

I know I wrote a post recently about why I love being single. It’s true, I really do. However, there is another side where I sometimes get really down on myself and feel like I’m going to be single forever. Maybe I will be, and maybe that’s not such a bad thing. I mean if I’m happy by myself, then why do I need to worry about bringing another person into the mix?

Sometimes I think it has to do with society and how it seems to be expected that you find someone to be with, and also how it seems like single people are looked down upon. Especially if you’ve reached a certain age and have not yet found someone to marry, have kids with, or just generally settle down with. Society also makes it seem like you’re a pathetic person if you’ve been single for years, like myself. I actually read an article once that basically looked down on people who stayed single for more than a year.

I’ll be 29 in a few months and I’ve gotten the many comments, such as, “Are you just going to be single forever?”, “When are you going to get out and meet someone?”, “Are you ever going to get married?”, “If you want to have kids, you need to find somebody soon.” Aside from those comments, I also get comments about how young I look for my age. Several of my family members were joking around recently when they said, “The reason you can’t find a boyfriend is because you look like you’re 14.” I know they didn’t mean anything hurtful by that, but it just adds to the internal struggle I face.

Feeling like I’m not good enough has been something I’ve struggled with my entire life. The fact that I can’t seem to find someone to fall in love with me (who I love back) when it seems to come easily for so many others is something that does eat me up at times. Meeting people, opening up, and being my true self does not come easily for me. I’m highly introverted, so I mostly stay at home doing solitary activities. I’m also very awkward and standoffish around people. This tends to turn people off right away because I come across as uninterested or stuck-up, when that’s really not me at all. It just takes a while for me to get comfortable around someone, and some people don’t have the patience to get to know the real me.

I’ve only been in love once, and he was my first real relationship. We broke up six years ago, and if anyone made me feel like I wasn’t good enough, it was him. Although I moved on, I think I still suffer some effects from that. I definitely don’t look at love and relationships the same way I once did. I have more trust issues now, and I also noticed that I now push people away as a defense mechanism to keep from getting hurt. I think that also contributes to the fact that I stay single because I don’t want to risk being treated poorly, cheated on, and having my heart torn in half. I got into another relationship with someone else four years ago, but it only lasted several months. I ended up breaking up with him because he didn’t make me feel like a priority in his life, and I decided I wasn’t going to go down that road again.

Maybe I will one day find someone I am compatible with and fall madly in love. Maybe I will be one of those oddballs who seems to stay single their whole life. I guess only time will tell. In the meantime, I need to worry less about other people and just try to build myself up instead of thinking something is wrong with me.

14 thoughts on “Downfall of Being Single

  1. There’s nothing wrong with you! I’m completely introverted too. It’s hard trying to get out of my shell to even take my kid out to do things sometimes! The only reason I have someone now is because we were old friends from high school and dated for a short time 13 years ago. We just kind of fell back into place 4 years ago like we hadn’t been apart. Other than that, I don’t open up much to anyone and I keep to myself…

    I’m sure things will happen for you in time. I would enjoy being single and not worry about the future right now! You’re so young! 🙂 I guess I’m only a year older than you but I feel old lol

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It is not always easy to ignore the demands/beliefs of society even though that it would be best to do so 🙂 There is nothing wrong in being single, there is a lot of freedom that comes with it. Have a nice weekend, Britney!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. What a strong personality ❤ you'll get the right guy someday! 🙂 I agree that we should build ourselves up instead of worrying about what other people say.

    Anyway, thanks for the follow! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Your happiness is far more important than what other people think. Take your time and choose someone who can be your best friend and cheerleader and who you can also motivate to be the best he can be.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I enjoyed reading your post. I’ve recently asked myself why it’s been so difficult for me to find someone who holds honor to a high place, and has a moral compass that’s not spinning in circles. I have married twice and have suffered through two affairs and two divorces. Neither person felt remorse for what they did, or the damage done. I’ve always been incredibly patient and forgiving. I’m not an introvert but I do understand the pros and cons to both. I hope you are able to find someone who can understand what you’re going through and be patient with you. When you love someone you have to accept them for who they are, not be who you want them to be. You do look very young by the way, but not a bad thing. I don’t know where you stand with religion, but I’ll pray for you in that the right person will come along into your life.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for your insightful response. That is awful you had to go through that. It’s a shame that so many people don’t know loyalty anymore. It seems like practically everyone these days cheats/has affairs. I’ve never cheated before, and I’m very against it.

      Like

      1. I had a moment of weakness years ago. I started to but caught myself before things got out of hand. Being cheated on hurts so bad. My last experience has had a chilling affect. I’m sorry for any experience on the receiving end you may have had. No one deserves to be treated with such disdain and disrespect.

        Liked by 1 person

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