It was the best of times, and it was the worst of times. 2000-2005 is probably one of the most prominent periods in my life. It’s funny because as an adult, 5 years seems like nothing. It literally goes by in the blink of an eye. However, this particular half-decade seems like it waged on forever. I definitely think a lot of things that happened helped shape my life and the person I am today.
▪ I spent tons of time at the skating rink. I always took my own rollerblades along because I preferred them to traditional skates.
▪ I also loved to ride my bike around the neighborhood a lot.
▪ I was in middle school during most of this time, in which I would get my first set of failing grades.
▪ My favorite movie in 2000 was The Craft (even though it actually came out in ’96). I began to take an interest in and started studying Wicca in 6th grade. I remember I had a sleepover for my birthday that year, and my friends and I were trying to cast spells. lol
▪ I got in a fight in the girls locker room when I was in 7th grade. She managed to slam my head into the locker, but I still got in a hit and a good kick to the stomach. She ended up crying. The school was going to suspend me for a week, but my mom talked them into giving me Saturday school instead. Guess who else had Saturday school that week? The girl’s sister that I was fighting with. She was older and much bigger than me and she was trying to intimidate me the whole time.
▪ Me and that girl actually became friends a little while after that. We went to the mall one day and she taught me how to shoplift. I did it a few times, but I stopped because I was always paranoid I would get caught.
Left: 6th grade (age 10, about to turn 11). 1999-2000
Center: 7th grade (age 11, about to turn 12). 2000-2001
Right: 2nd 8th grade year (age 13, about to turn 14). 2002-2003
▪ I started smoking cigarettes when I was 12. I mostly did it just to look cool because a lot of the other kids were doing it. Plus, the rebellious side in me got a rush from doing something I wasn’t supposed to. I would smoke here and there over the years, but thankfully it’s not a habit that I ever picked up full time.
▪ I was in 8th grade when the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks happened. We were sent home from school that day, but nobody would tell us why or what was going on. I found out when I got home and turned the news on.
▪ I became a teenager. I turned 13 in November of 2001, and then I had my first period the day after.
▪ When I was 13, we took in my kitty Chloe. (She’s about to be 17 now!)
▪ We got our first computer (and internet) in my house in early 2002. I would spend all of my spare time on it. Especially in chat rooms and on AIM and MSN messenger. I also spent a lot of time on forums.
▪ I had a few best friends that I was super close to. We spent almost every day together. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t last. To this day, I’ve never been as close to anyone else (relatives excluded) as I was to them.
▪ I was heavily bullied all throughout middle school, but 8th grade was the worst. To sum things up, I was told that I was ugly and nobody would ever want to date me. My bullies got a popular guy to ask me out as a joke, and then they all laughed at me. They would also constantly throw things at me in class. My mom went to the school numerous times but nothing was never done. I even stopped going to lunch every day as a way to avoid them. I would just stay in the classroom by myself.
▪ Because of the bullying, I would sometimes skip class and skip school altogether. One day I skipped school with this girl and boy I knew, and that was the first time I ever smoked weed.
▪ The bullies somehow managed to turn all of my friends against me. I still don’t know exactly how, but one of my friends cornered me in the hallway one day and was pushing me and acting like she was going to fight me. She was screaming at me to keep my mouth shut and stop saying things about her. I was so hurt and confused because I had never said anything about her or any of my friends, so I can only assume the bullies made this up and planted it in their heads. I was friendless from that point on.
▪ One day after getting off the bus, one of my former friends started yelling at me and trying to act tough in front of the group of other kids. I was pissed and just lost it, so I walked over and gave her a side-hook right in the jaw. Then this other girl (who had nothing to do with the dispute and was three times my size) ran over and punched me dead in the nose. Blood started gushing everywhere! It was all over my hands and my coat. I ran home and was so distraught that I couldn’t even open the door, so I just dropped to my knees and started pounding against the door. To this day, I still remember the look on my mom’s face when she opened the door and saw me on the ground with blood spewing out of my face.
▪I began cutting myself and even thought about suicide. I spilled my guts to the school counselor one day when I was really upset and scared to go to class, and the school called my mom and made her take me to the hospital for a psychiatric evaluation. (A year later we had to do the same thing). The hospital didn’t think I was a big enough risk, so they released me. However, they recommended my mom sign me up for therapy, which she did.
▪ I saw a therapist for a while, and I was also put on anti-depressant medications. (Zoloft and then later Prozac).
▪ Due to all of this happening, I would get terrible anxiety whenever I would leave my house.
▪ Watching new episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer each week was the only thing I remember looking forward to.
▪ I ended up failing 8th grade. The only way I could move on to high school was if I went to summer school. That meant that I would have to give up my trip to Florida that had already been planned. I was devastated. My mom and I talked it over and she asked me what I wanted to do. I had my heart set on that vacation and I deserved it after everything I had went through. As much as I hated school, I decided that I would just be held back in the 8th grade.
▪ My parents talked it over and decided that it would be best for me to transfer schools. I ended up going to the school where my dad lived, but in order to do so I had to go live with him. I still got to stay at my mom’s on weekends, but it was a rough transition at first. At that point, my dad had no computer or internet at his house, and I was depressed to the point of tears every day because I missed my mom, my room at my mom’s, and of course I really missed my cat.
▪ I started out my second 8th grade year at a new school, and it was also not a good transition. I was not bullied like I was at my old school, but it was still a very lonely time. I had no friends and sat by myself at lunch every day. I literally remember being the only person in the entire cafeteria that was sitting alone.
▪ Although I was held back, it was actually only supposed to be for the first semester. After Winter break, I was supposed to be moved up to 9th grade and go to the high school. However, the principal called my parents and had a talk with them. He said my grades were good (I was on honor roll), but he said I wasn’t socially mature enough yet for high school. I was absolutely devastated!
▪ I started high school in the Fall of 2003. 9th grade was my least favorite grade in high school, but it was still better than middle school. I even managed to make some different friends throughout the years. Each year seemed to be just a little better than the next.
▪ In 2004, I started my first site called Poison Paradise. It was when I first started to experiment with layouts and graphics.
▪ Then in 2005, I purchased my first domain, Unfoolish-Miracles.net. That was when I truly started to get into the blog scene.
This is just some of the details about my life back then. If I included every single thing I remember, this would be way too long. This was very much a coming of age time period for me, and it’s all led me to where I am today. I wish I could have included more pictures from this time period, but these were all I could find at the moment.