First, I want to say thank you to everyone who has followed me so far! I have now passed 100 followers! I opened this blog two and a half months ago, and I was nervous that nobody would be interested and I would be talking to myself. I didn’t think I would gain this many followers in such a short time. I do admit I get down on myself sometimes because I see other bloggers who started theirs around the same time (or even after me), and they have twice as many followers now. I have to remind myself that it’s not a competition or a popularity contest. As long as I’m having fun doing what I’m doing (which I am), then that’s what matters. Of course I want people to like and be interested in what I have to say. I think that’s something we all want. I’m just glad I’ve been able to continually grow my blog.
Yesterday, I went to the mall on a little shopping trip. I honestly can’t remember the last time I went to the mall. As I’ve mentioned previously, I’m a bit of a homebody. I also like shopping at stores that we don’t have in the mall here, so I tend to buy everything online. Well, I attempted to buy jeans online a while back too, and that didn’t work out so well. It’s a shame too because I absolutely loved those jeans, but despite being the size I normally wear, I couldn’t pull them up over my butt. From that moment, I decided any time I needed new jeans I would have to try them on before I bought them. That’s what triggered my trip to the mall. I’ve been wearing the same jeans for about a decade now. They got to the point where I couldn’t wear them much longer. There were big holes in the butt (where I had to wear a long shirt to cover it), and rips up the leg. I needed new jeans, asap.
I thought I would put my “B” as the main picture because it’s very fitting for this post since the word bedroom starts with a B. It’s also the first letter of my name, which is why my aunt Becky (another B) got it for me for my birthday. (Another B, ha!)
Anyone who followed me on social media before I started this blog has probably seen my bedroom before, but I thought it would be fun to post my room here on my blog and show you guys my favorite place. I’m a bit of a homebody, and I spend the majority of my spare time locked away here in my room. It’s a space that I was able to put a touch of my personality into and the one place where I feel the most at ease.
As an only child, I would like to share some of my thoughts and experiences about what it has been like. It certainly has its advantages and disadvantages.
I never had to deal with sibling rivalry growing up. I fought enough with my mother, so it was nice not having to worry about bickering with anyone else.
I never had to share my room, my clothes, or my toys with anyone else.
I never had to worry about who was the favorite among my parent’s because I was their one and only.
As the only one, my parents attention was always focused on me.
When I had sleepovers, my friends and I could enjoy ourselves without worrying about a sibling crashing the party.
I didn’t have to worry about competing with anyone growing up, whether it be grades or other achievements.
I got to have the house to myself a lot. As an introvert, the quiet alone time was very much appreciated.
I don’t get to experience that special bond that many siblings seem to have.
I’ll never get to be an Aunt, unless I get married to someone with siblings. Even then, I won’t be biologically related.
I never had someone that could stick up for me, particularly when I was heavily bullied in school. My friends had abandoned me and joined the bullies, and I was on my own.
When my parents get sick, I will have the sole responsibility of taking care of them.
When my parents die, I don’t have siblings that I can lean on for support. Likewise, I’ll likely be left to pay for and plan funeral/burial arrangements.
I’m the only person who can give my mom a grandchild. Granted the decision to have children is solely up to me, but I know that she really wants to be a grandmother. I’m starting to worry it’s never going to happen, since I’m almost 29 and still single. I know I’ve still got time, but the thought that it might not be something that happens has crossed my mind. I had to see the sadness in my mother’s face when her fourth and final sibling announced that she was going to be a grandmother this year. My mom is the only one left, and it must be hard on her watching it happen for everyone else around her. It’s a big burden for me to carry just knowing that.
To this day, I still don’t like to share. I blame that on never having to share growing up. I’ve been called stingy more than once, and it’s true.
Some people think that if you’re an only child, you’re spoiled and have everything handed to you on a silver platter. That’s never been the case for me at all. Quite the contrary. In fact, one of the reasons my parents only had one child was because that was all they could afford.
My mom and I planned to eat crabs today, so we went and they were very crowded. We were there for an hour waiting on our crabs to be ready. While we were waiting, I was standing off to the side by myself, and this guy came over and started hitting on me. He was asking me if I wanted to go get drinks and smoke weed. It was awkward and uncomfortable. I lied and told him I had a boyfriend, and he was still being persistent. Thankfully my mom came over and saved the day. As soon as she came over, he backed down real quick and then left.
Once we got home and were eating crabs, this butterfly kept hanging out on me outside. It really seemed to like me for some reason. I don’t get to see butterflies that often, so I get excited when I get to see one. Especially if they stay around long enough for me to get pictures.
I know I wrote a post recently about why I love being single. It’s true, I really do. However, there is another side where I sometimes get really down on myself and feel like I’m going to be single forever. Maybe I will be, and maybe that’s not such a bad thing. I mean if I’m happy by myself, then why do I need to worry about bringing another person into the mix?
Sometimes I think it has to do with society and how it seems to be expected that you find someone to be with, and also how it seems like single people are looked down upon. Especially if you’ve reached a certain age and have not yet found someone to marry, have kids with, or just generally settle down with. Society also makes it seem like you’re a pathetic person if you’ve been single for years, like myself. I actually read an article once that basically looked down on people who stayed single for more than a year.
I’ll be 29 in a few months and I’ve gotten the many comments, such as, “Are you just going to be single forever?”, “When are you going to get out and meet someone?”, “Are you ever going to get married?”, “If you want to have kids, you need to find somebody soon.” Aside from those comments, I also get comments about how young I look for my age. Several of my family members were joking around recently when they said, “The reason you can’t find a boyfriend is because you look like you’re 14.” I know they didn’t mean anything hurtful by that, but it just adds to the internal struggle I face.
I’ve seen this going around on a few blogs, and blogger Kittyp0p has nominated anyone who’s interested to also participate.
The rules are to thank your tagger and link their blog, be truthful when answering the questions, and don’t judge others. Feel free to add any body positivity related questions, and nominate as many people as you can to spread the love and acceptance and self-worth/esteem boost.
One (or more) features you love about yourself:
My eyes. I have central heterochromia, so while the majority of my iris is blue, the pupil is outlined in a hazel color. I especially like the way they light up in the sunlight.
I got back from Florida yesterday morning, but I was too tired to write out a post because I was exhausted and didn’t get that much sleep while I was away. I slept great last night, now that I’m back home in my own bed.
I went with my mom and aunt, and my grandma lives there so we stayed with her. We were in Daytona Beach and surrounding areas such as Ormond Beach, New Smyrna, Port Orange, and Ponce Inlet. We flew out of Maryland on Monday morning and got to Florida in the afternoon. It started pouring down raining after we left the airport, but the rain eventually subsided. We went to Ponce Inlet to check out the Ponce de Leon lighthouse. Originally I wanted to go up in the lighthouse and take some photos out of the windows, but since it was wet and cloudy and I was tired, I decided not to do that.